Support for the midlife turning point and beyond - because you don’t have to figure it out alone

Haere mai; welcome

Midlife changes and perimenopause can start as a whisper.

A sore hip. Sleepless from 3am. A short fuse.

Tears, as your teen drives away for the first time.

Some women sail through. For many of us, though, perimenopause turns life as we knew it upside down. Our bodies and sleep change; brain fog can set in. Hormonal shifts can turn up the volume on emotions and stress. Old memories start bubbling up, no longer stored away as they once were. And on top of these, the ways we’ve always coped often don’t seem to work the way they used to.

Like two mighty rivers colliding, these internal changes arrive at the same time as outside things start changing: work starts to feel different, children leave (or don’t), relationships shift, parents need us more. No wonder we often feel lost, overwhelmed and find ourselves asking, who am I now?

In counselling and coaching, you get an hour that’s just for you. We’ll make sense of what you’re going through, notice patterns that no longer work for you, and learn new ways of meeting difficult feelings, with more openness and kindness. And we’ll get clear on what matters most to you, so you can shape a next chapter that feels on true to who you are.

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Close-up of a smiling woman with gray hair, wearing earrings and a blue denim jacket.

A little about me

My homeland is South Africa, where many moons ago I trained as a psychologist, earning my masters. I lived for a long time in Australia, where I ran a private practice; and recently we moved to beautiful Taranaki, Aotearoa (New Zealand).

I’m Rina, mum to 3 now adult children and a joyful, hilarious golden retriever. I have full registration here as a counselling psychologist, with a special interest in coaching, women’s health and wellbeing, grief, chronic pain, menopause and aging.

How counselling can help

Whether you’re in midlife or your elder years, together we can work on

  • Building emotional resilience for the years ahead

  • Clarifying your values, purpose and direction

  • Creating sustainable health habits

  • Building skilful ways of responding to anxiety, low mood, anger, relationship stress

  • Improving sleep

  • Managing overwhelm, stress and burnout

  • Loosening the grip of patterns such as imposter syndrome, people-pleasing and perfectionism

  • Navigating grief, loss and life's transitions

  • Living well alongside chronic health conditions

    I also offer supervision for Health Improvement Practitioners (HIPs), and EAP support through Clearhead.

Getting started

Appointments

For a korero (chat) to see whether this work will be a good fit for you, or to book an initial appointment, please text or give me a ring on 026 686 5609; or email hello@rinabelgraver.com.

Returning clients are welcome to access their calendar portal here, to book, change or cancel sessions.

Location

Appointments are in-person at my consulting room in New Plymouth, or via secure video or telephone, New Zealand-wide.

Fees

I offer 50-minute appointments ($180) and brief, focused 30-minute appointments ($80).

Half-hour appointments

These are ideal for focused and practical support with, for example, sleep, emotional eating, stress, diabetes, increasing physical activity or self-care. You might also find these work well if you just want to check in or refresh a skill.

Happy older woman, reminding us that self-compassion can make all the difference

My approach

I draw primarily from ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), including

  • CBT-I (Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia)

  • ERP (exposure and response prevention) for OCD and body repetitive behaviours

  • non-diet approaches for emotional eating and body image

  • fACT (focused Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), for half-hour appointments.

Since arriving in Aotearoa I’ve discovered the beautifully holistic Te Whare Tapa Whā model of wellbeing. ‘Mauri tū mauri ora’ literally means ‘the alert life force begets life’… when the walls of our wellbeing are supported and tended to - our taha wairua (spiritual wellbeing), taha hinengaro (mental and emotional wellbeing), taha tinana (physical health), taha whānau (relationships) and connection to whenua, earth and nature - then we can thrive and flourish.

Orca whales, a reminder that nature has programmed us for menopause; a new life stage where we can begin new endeavours, close to our hearts

With each trip around the sun, many people notice a yearning for life to be quieter and simpler, or more expansive. There’s often a sharpening sense of what matters and what doesn’t. A softening of the drive for striving and external validation. Tolerance for bullshit and people-pleasing, no more.

Until very recently, menopause was not considered a thing by our culture, or it was seen as something to simply be tolerated, much as our grandparents did.

Bear with me, your priorities are likely to be to feel sane and get some sleep. But I am starting to see, as many now are, that this pivotal life phase is part of an intricate template that your body holds for wellbeing. It can be the beginning of the next evolution of your consciousness, unfolding in real-time to help build your next chapter.

Did you know that several species of whale also go through menopause? (hm, may this be a peaceful transition for these magnificent creatures). After raising young they are wired to continue in their elder years, to contribute to their communities as guides and protectors.

Perhaps you’re noticing that change is afoot?